The following is a parody on the Godfather. Apologies to Francis Ford Coppola for stealing his work. Submitted for your approval and perusal: Btw, I play the part of the Catfather!
FADE FROM BLACK: Entrance of the Cat's home office - It is night time. Cat has just disembarked from the infamous night train.
javelin (seated in front of the Cat's desk ):
I believe in America. America has made my fortune. And I followed the Piccadilly in true
American fashion. They gave us freedom, but - we were taught never to dishonor your family.
Then a new ceo named Ronnie, not an Italian, came into power. His ego and idiotic blunders doomed our once great company. Our beloved chain is barely holding on. It's like her jaw is a'shattered, held together by wire. Some can't even weep because of the pain.
But I weep. Why do I weep? She was the light of my life -- beautiful girl. Now she will
never be beautiful again.
[ Javelin breaks down. The Cat gestures to Charie Jr. to give him a drink]
Sorry...
[ Javelin taking the drink, sips from the shot glass]
Ronnie resigned two months ago. I stood in the boardroom like a fool. And those other bastards, < see jav's list >
they smiled at me. Then I said to my wife, "for justice, we must go to the Cat."
Cat Corleone (sitting behind his desk, petting a cat):
Why did you go to the bored? Why didn't you come to me first?
We've known each other many years, but this is the first time you came to me for counsel,
for help. I can't remember the last time that you invited me to your house for a cup of
coffee, heavy on the caffeine, even though my wife is godmother to your only child. But let's be frank here: you never wanted my friendship. And uh, you were afraid to be in my debt. And you didn't need a friend of me. But uh, now you come to me and you say -- "Cat Corleone give me justice." -- But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Catfather. Instead, you come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married, and you uh ask me to have Ronnie choke on a terd, er, turd the size of an azam malik, for money.
Javelin replies: I ask you for justice.
Catfather: That is not justice; your company is still alive.
Javelin: Then he can suffer then, as she suffers. How much shall I pay you?
Cat Corleone (stands, turning his back toward Javelin): Javelin... Javelin... What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? Had you come to me in friendship, then this scum that ruined your company would be suffering this very day. And that by chance if an honest man such as yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you.
Javelin: Be my friend -- (then, after bowing and the Cat shrugs): Catfather?
Cat Corleone: Some day, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But uh, until that day -- accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day. They will all choke on turds.
Javelin (as he leaves the room): Grazie, Catfather.
Cat Corleone: Farewell and adieu
P.S. (then, to Charlie Jr., after javlin leaves the room)
Ah, give this to ah, ibbq4u2. I want reliable people; people that aren't gonna be carried
away. We're not murderers, despite of what this undertaker says. We just want 'em choking a bit on some terds, er, turds.
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