Apple Records. Granny Smith. Hey Bulldog and All Together Now. It's only a Northern Song. Ah, memories. 

Bowl of cherries. What l.p. [ long playing ] eh?Hint: 1970. Au revoir, v.c. 

Yes, me and Kitty are going to see my main man, Paul McCartney. I once paid $500.00 for two seats on row 6 to see the former member of the fab 4. 1991 to be exact. Inflation, eh? His most expensive tix for this year's tour is $250.00 each. Gimme shelter, v.c. P.S. It was worth every penny. If you've never seen a concert on row 6 then you ain't lived. 

The burning of Atlanta. From Gone With The Wind. Is this where the term "Hotlanta" came from. v.c. 

Casablanca

We always had Paris. What a movie, eh? And always in the top five of critics' lists. Directed by Michael Curtiz, who directed the King-not Slim Whitman-in King Creole. The locale: N'awlins, of course. P.S. It doesn't take much to see that the problems of 3 little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.  

I don't know who lives here. Do you? 

A picture from the old "Golden Pond." Dissolved into cyberspace with a click of the mouse. From the land beyond beyond. From the land past hope and fear. I bid you, genie, now appear. Farewell and adieu, v.c. 

It is so much easier writing captions to pictures than trying to dream up new forays into the infantile. We as a society have digressed to the point of no return as evidenced by the above sign. For those in their golden years and unable to read the small print w/w/o spectacles, the caption reads: "And the bridge is out ahead." Gimme shelter, v.c. 

http://www.geocities.com/bsarohmss/sdaf1.mp3

The following picture has never graced The Pond. I luv the music. Shirley Bassey: "He loves only gold." Sorry, wrong song. All the early Connery Bond theme songs were great. Imho. From Russia with Love featuring Matt Monro. Ever heard of him? Goldfinger by the aforementioned Ms. Bassey. You Only Leave, er, Live Twice. A beautiful song from Nancy Sinatra whose "boots" fame must have made her the perfect choice. And being the daughter of the Chairman of the Bored didn't hurt either. Thunderball by Tom Jones always delivers me back to a time long gone, circa 1966. Diamonds was the last time Connery played Bond for Harry Saultzman and Cubby Broccoli. Listen! Gimme Shelter, v.c.
 

Never a Dull Moment, eh? And another picture of me circa 1972. I was a junior at Truck U. and had just met an older woman named Maggie. Pre-Kitty. I lived in Gasoline Alley. Gimme shelter, v.c. P.S. Every picture tells a story. 

The infamous butcher shoppe photo for "Yesterday and Today." Which includes: "And Your Bird Can Sing," "Day Tripper," and "I'm Only Sweeping, er, Sleeping." The l.p. [ long-playing ] cover shot was in response to cut-throat business tactics. See capitalism. Pun unintended. Gimme shelter, v.c.

Here Today Blog; Gone Tomorrow Blog

Well by now you should know that Golden Pond has been replaced with V.C.'s Golden Pond. With one click of the mouse, it was ALL gone. I don't know if I'll ever get over it. 8 months of blood, sweat, and tears gone down the tubes. ( apologies to the brass section )

I will swear before God and on a stack of bibles that "39 and Counting" was the blog needing deleting. But, alas, the blogger gods weren't kind to me, even tho I have corresponded with them via email to see if there's any rectifying of a bad dream, and "The Pond Volume I" is history. Does anyone have a kleenex?

But in order to catch up, I do recall a few recent posts. And w/o further farewell and adieu, here we go:

Gimme shelter, v.c.

Paris, France. Where the ladies do wear pants.  

But Paris, France has nothing on the denizens of Paris, Kentucky.  

A Post About Nothing

And then there was "A Post About Nothing." My friend, the bbq man, said it was brilliant. You got to love constructive criticism like that, eh? Here it is in its entirety. Submitted for your approval and perusal:

Speaking of records, there were 78's, 45's, and 33 1/3's.

It also reminds me of my humble beginnings as I made my way onto the team, the Piccadilly team. And it goes without saying, but it was back in the day.My first g.m. and the one who hired me was the legendary Peter Principle, who recently retired, but is in good condition. A daily regimen of pushups and situps being the key.

I was fresh out of Rowdy High and in need of gainful employment. Noticing the wariness in his eyes, I assured him that hiring me would be a good decision. Peter relunctantly gave me the job. My first assignment and job title was prep cook.

"You can be the next Joe Polito, cat," alluding to the fact that J.P. had begun his humble beginnings there.

They gave me a list to complete. First was picking the meat off the turkey bones. Next a sack of onions to peel. Then they got technical:

"I want you to make 50 lbs. of chop beef, young fella," said Chef Boyardee.

I found out later Chef B. was a legend in his own mind. Being on special payroll, he had a habit of being late to work and took extended leave of absences, some authorized, some not.

Anyway, no one showed me how to proceed. They just gave me a card with the directions and ingredients. No one knew of my medical condition ( back then it wasn't cool to be infirmed ) and the dyslexia reared its ugly head. The chop beef was supposed to be an 80-20 mixture. Got that right. But used 80% fat and 20% lean meat. So they fell apart. And the next day. And the next day. And the next day....

I was concerned that my job may be in jeopardy. But, Peter, in his most sympathetic voice, told me that I had the unofficial Piccadilly record for consecutive days with falling apart chop beef.

"Am I fired, Mr. Principle?

"No, son. You have potential. Forget the chop beef." he said as he showed me a box. Full of frozen patties.

"What's that?" I said meekly.

"TQC, cat. The wave of the future." he said.

"TQC? Huh? What's that?"

"It's an acronym, cat. Stands for Traditional, Quality, Cumbaya."

That's how it all started. My career and tqc. And the list of tqc products kept growing. And growing. Coincidentally, after my stints at making rolls, biscuits, garlic bread, mayonnaise, etc. And as my prep cook career was heating up, an old staple was meeting its waterloo.

"I hate to tell you this, men." said Mr. Principle. "But the days of cooking with animal fat are over."

As he made his statement, I remembered the freshly ground pot of suet that had been cooking on the range. The familiar burnt smell permeated the building.

"Cat!!!!"

"Sorry, Mr. Principle."

"Cat, we all make mistakes. We're only human. But I got the o.k. We want you in mgmt. You've got what it takes."

I took off my apron and paper cap. And discarded my white kitchen shirt in the hamper. As I was heading out the door, Chef Boyardee chided me for allowing the suet to burn.

"Chef. Sorry about the suet. They want me in mgmt. The brass at the G.O. approved it."

"Do you know what you're getting into, cat?"

"Don't know."

"We'll miss you in the kitchen."

"I'll miss you, too. Especially when I had to cover for you, [ and your lazy ass ] when you didn't show up. Farewell and adieu, chef."

"No one will ever beat your record. Cumbaya, cat."

"Cumbaya, chef."

Farewell and adieu, v.c.


Message

And this one never saw the light of day, either. But don't you just hate when this happens. OUCH! 

Leisure suits are the rage, Johnny.And one day I'm gonna be the next Travolta. Or maybe take your place as the Tonight Host. And don't make any more unflattering remarks about my HUGE jaw. 

And who recalls this one. I am a lineman for the county, and I drive the main roads. But I'm mad as hell and ain't gonna take it no more. A tip of the cap to the mad newsman in Network. Starring Peter Finch ( Oscar ) and Faye Dunaway, before she made "Mommie Dearest," and the film that sent her career into the toilet.  

This particular one was never shown on the Pond but is timely and will be included today. And ain't it the truth? And about as funny as a manicured finger in a cup of Wendy's chili. 

Cruve? My expose on our lousy government schools. Written back in January while global warming was rearing its ugly head. John Q. Public knew the facts and thought George Dubya should do something. 

And there was the post where me and L'il v.c., er, big v.c. were sunning ourselves but being careful to protect parts of our anatomy so we wouldn't get skin cancer.. And "Golden Pond" was still on hiatus. Ah, I remember it well. 

Here's a recent picture of me and Kitty at our anniversary shindig last week. I had too many "sex on the beaches" while Kitty indulged in too many singapore slings. We had a ball. Farewell and adieu, v.c. And my friend from Rowdy High ( Gary Nelson ) really thought it was me and Kitty. Fooled him, didn't I? Or is this really Kitty and me? 

Here's me and Kitty and Katlin. Back in the day. Time, time, time. Looks what's become of me. While I look around for my possibilities; they are so hard to see.  

There's the post where v.c. was on hiatus. Does anyone remember, eh? And conversing on the phone allah the world. 

Almost forgot this one. An oxymoron, eh? And kinda like a well-known southern cafeteria chain. 

And last but not least. Well, I thought it was cute. 

It Was Meant To Be

Well, Golden Pond has been eradicated. Vamoose, gone. I inadvertently deleted the blog by mistake. Damn! It must have been fate. Destiny. A new beginning?

I'm still sick, however. I started writing in September 04. And wrote over 100 forays into the infantile. And they're gone. Kaput. Fini.'

Just have to start all over again. Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. Gimme shelter!

Screwed Again-Written 7-17-03

I invented the Charlie Catfish idea for our new promotions at the southern based cafeteria chain, but did they give me credit? Hell, no. So as a response, I penned "Screwed Again!" Submitted....

As if Whiskers the Catfish, er, Basa wasn't enough, here PIC goes again ripping off another of my ideas. And you thought no one in the GO reads this thing.

http://finance.messages.yahoo.com/bbs?.mm=FN&action=m&board=7083522&tid=pic&sid= 7083522&mid=4276

Yes, the tactic is working. Business is improving. < good sign for the savvy investors >

I'm surprised Ronnie didn't use it. If he had, maybe he would still be in control.

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. Send royalty check to the same address.

vietnamcatfish
8675309 Pond Jovi
Golden Pond, U.S.A. 55555

P.S.S. You may now disembark the night train. Allah bored

Addendum: I always liked the 867-5309 joke. And kept repeating it in future forays into the infantile. And repeating it.....And whatever happened to Jenny?

An Offer I Couldn't Refuse-Written 07-25-03

The following is a parody on the Godfather. Apologies to Francis Ford Coppola for stealing his work. Submitted for your approval and perusal: Btw, I play the part of the Catfather!

FADE FROM BLACK: Entrance of the Cat's home office - It is night time. Cat has just disembarked from the infamous night train.

javelin (seated in front of the Cat's desk ):

I believe in America. America has made my fortune. And I followed the Piccadilly in true
American fashion. They gave us freedom, but - we were taught never to dishonor your family.

Then a new ceo named Ronnie, not an Italian, came into power. His ego and idiotic blunders doomed our once great company. Our beloved chain is barely holding on. It's like her jaw is a'shattered, held together by wire. Some can't even weep because of the pain.

But I weep. Why do I weep? She was the light of my life -- beautiful girl. Now she will
never be beautiful again.

[ Javelin breaks down. The Cat gestures to Charie Jr. to give him a drink]

Sorry...

[ Javelin taking the drink, sips from the shot glass]

Ronnie resigned two months ago. I stood in the boardroom like a fool. And those other bastards, < see jav's list >
they smiled at me. Then I said to my wife, "for justice, we must go to the Cat."

Cat Corleone (sitting behind his desk, petting a cat):

Why did you go to the bored? Why didn't you come to me first?

We've known each other many years, but this is the first time you came to me for counsel,
for help. I can't remember the last time that you invited me to your house for a cup of
coffee, heavy on the caffeine, even though my wife is godmother to your only child. But let's be frank here: you never wanted my friendship. And uh, you were afraid to be in my debt. And you didn't need a friend of me. But uh, now you come to me and you say -- "Cat Corleone give me justice." -- But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Catfather. Instead, you come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married, and you uh ask me to have Ronnie choke on a terd, er, turd the size of an azam malik, for money.

Javelin replies: I ask you for justice.

Catfather: That is not justice; your company is still alive.

Javelin: Then he can suffer then, as she suffers. How much shall I pay you?

Cat Corleone (stands, turning his back toward Javelin): Javelin... Javelin... What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? Had you come to me in friendship, then this scum that ruined your company would be suffering this very day. And that by chance if an honest man such as yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you.

Javelin: Be my friend -- (then, after bowing and the Cat shrugs): Catfather?

Cat Corleone: Some day, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But uh, until that day -- accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day. They will all choke on turds.

Javelin (as he leaves the room): Grazie, Catfather.

Cat Corleone: Farewell and adieu

P.S. (then, to Charlie Jr., after javlin leaves the room)

Ah, give this to ah, ibbq4u2. I want reliable people; people that aren't gonna be carried
away. We're not murderers, despite of what this undertaker says. We just want 'em choking a bit on some terds, er, turds.

Chili Today/Hot Tamale Volume II

Written 10-23-03. A blast from the past. I like the trivia and here's my challenge. Submitted for your perusal and approval:

Brought to you this week by v.c., subbing for Alan Smithee, who is currently engaged with his gig at Cat's Potpurri in N'awlins. Alan's recreation of the Elvis phenomena has been a huge suckcess. Alan secretly confided in me that his set includes "I Got Stung," "In the Ghetto," and "Heartbreak Hotel."

Without further pomp and circumstance, here's yet another edition of the Alan Smithee Trivia Challenge. Here goes!

1) What is R juice?

a) a last-ditch attempt to save the company by Ronnie, before he embraced change. Selling for $.99 and appearing with his likeness on the bottle, R juice, a cornucopia of fruits, was to be sold at Pic's everywhere in the USA.
b) Short for Rowdy juice. Invented by v.c. and to be sold only to kids.
c) another idea stolen from v.c. Another entry into the cola wars.
d) au jus

2) The song, < "It's Only The > Beginning," was written by

a) Chicago Transit Authority
b) Curly Joe Howard
c) Count Lippe
d) Jack MacGregor

3) Who has repeated this phrase the most often? < source Guiness Book of World Records > 10-12 pound turkey, two quarts of dressing, a quart of giblet gravy, and a pint of frozen, er, cranberry sauce!

a) hootsbuddie
b) pictruandtru
c) clifhenry
d) alansmithee

4) Hoots has introduced the bored to many in a series of weblogs. He failed to mention his own. What is its name?

a) Hoots the archivester
b) i love rachel lucas
c) got lubys
d) Hoots' Blogna

5) Who recently ribbed his ex fellow team member by using the stereotypical and politically incorrect watermelon and fried chicken? And quickly found himself in a heap of trouble. Was it?:

a) Junior Seau
b) Tom Tryon
c) Buster Crabbe
d) Redseniorpicmgr.
e) didacticdaddy

6) Who, if possible, would encourage the PIC to sell cheeseburgers, exclusively? < idea pinched from "It's Just A Fantasy" > Sorry, no chicken tenders.

a) Aristotle Onassis
b) Jackie Bouvier
c) Jay C. Flippen
d) nelore

7) Who wrote "Stray Cat Blues?"

a) Brian Setzer
b) Auric Goldfinger
c) Gram Parsons
d) vietnamcatfish

8) If your health insurance doubles at work what is the best course of action?

a) buy a few more bottles of KY jelly
b) marry a school teacher
c) find another job
d) rent the movie "Goldfinger" at your local blockbuster and ask if they sell lubricants as well.

9) Which process is the most unsanitary?

a) storing raw chicken over cooked foods
b) not washing your hands after using the bathroom
c) discreetly picking your nose after uttering the phrase, "Serve You?"
d) preparing cornbread dressing in a bambareen

10) With talks of bankruptcy, chapter 11 filing, et al what current movie aptly reflects the mood of the denizens of PIC.

a) Cabin Fever
b) Lost in Translation
c) House of the Dead
d) Intolerable Cruelty
e) Mambo Italiano
f) Matchstick Men
g) Louisiana Chainsaw Massacre
h) all of the above

11) What really brought down the PIC as well as the Bosox? < Boston Red Sox >

a) Not selling chicken tenders to kids
b) Too much beef liver and onions
c) curse of the bambino
d) curse of the bambareeno

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. You may now disembark the nite train. All laborde

P.S.S. And for Alan and his bridge over troubled waters....

It's Just A Fantasy-Written in October 03.

Me and the kids were tooling down the road heading for computer city.

"What kind of computer are we gonna buy, granddad?"

"Well, we want to get the latest model, kids. Something with a lot of jigga watts."

"How long til we get there, granddad?"

"Count to a million, l'il Charlie."

"Can you tell us a story, granddad? Something about the message bored or Piccadilly?"

"Sure, we've got a ways to go. Well, let's see. It was October of 2003 and it looked grim for all of us. Ronnie had embraced change and had given it up < apollo g's to Arsenio Hall > a few months prior and Azam had brought in a consultant to analyze the situation. And due to a shortfall in the pension plan, Jack Mac decided we had to sell the old girl."

"Sell Piccadilly? Were you sad, granddad?"

"Yeah I was sad and wondered what in the hell I was gonna do if we went belly-up. I had sent in my resume to Mad Magazine and had never heard from them. And I submitted a few of my posts to Random House and they sent back a cordial thank-you form letter with a big 'HUH?'
as a p.s. And my situation comedy 'Everybody Loves Catfish' was rejected by Hollywood."

"Sounds like you were up ship creek without a paddle, granddad."

"Yeah, kids, it looked like it was time to turn out the lights, the party's over."

"What happened, next, granddad? Did you go work with Uncle Bbq? Unclogging drains?"

"Well, Uncle Bbq was gracious in offering me a job, but I think he did it because he felt sorry for me. But then when all seemed lost and we were at our lowest ebb, a Greek concern bought the Piccadilly. We filed Chapter 11, erasing all of our old debts, and the Greeks started pumping money back into the old girl."

"Greek, granddad? Kinda like Sandy Fajitas? < imho > Did you have to change the menu?"

"Yes, we changed the menu and started selling cheeseburgers. Away went the dilly and the signature meal. And rowdy kids nite and all the special promotional items that worked in the beginning. But the change in the menu was confusing to the guests."

"How so, granddad?"

"Well, we had been serving dilly's and signature meals for years with 2 sides and bread. And if you wanted a super you added a side, dessert, and drink. And the guests were used to it, even tho they liked to make up their own rules about how it should work. But let's pretend I'm the server and l'il Charlie, you be the guest. O.K.? Now you're in the serving line at the lead meats < see pictruandtru > and place your order. Serve you?"

"I'd like fried chicken on a dilly, please!"

"Sorry. No fried chicken. Cheeseburger."

"Cheeseburger?"

"Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger. Serve you?"

"I'd like a roast beef signature meal!"

"No roast beef. Cheeseburger."

"I'll take a cheeseburger then. And carrot souffle."

"No carrot souffle. Chips!"

"I'll take chips and iced tea."

"No iced tea. Pepsi!"

"That's all you sold, granddad?"

"Yes, kids, but it made your granddad's life a little easier. Cheeseburgers, chips, and pepsi. We even bought a few George Foreman grills for people that needed a low-fat diet. And when Mr. Onassis suspended rowdy kids nite, we were set to go. And sales skyrocketed. And soon we were trading again on the NY Stock Exchange."

"And what happened to hoots, granddad?"

"Hoots? Now that's a name from the past. Well, last thing I heard he was singing karaoke at Cat's Potpurri down in N'awlins. Heard he sings a mean "It's Just a Fantasy," Billy Joel's fav tune from back in the day. Hey, look. Computer City. We'll finish the story later. Now you rowdy kids behave."

"Jiggawatts. Yeah! Thanks for the story, granddad. When we get through shopping for a new computer, can we get something to eat?"

"Sure, we can get a cheeseburger at H.W. All laborde."

Best of New Orleans-The Gambit Weekly

O.K. I read the reviews. And I disagree with the Gambit Weekly's Picks. And in response to those feelings, I snapped off a letter to the paper venting my views. From September 9, 2003 here it is: Submitted for your approval and perusal!

Yes, I remember when the article debuted, and how we were all excited down here in N'awlins.
But I took exception to some of the entries on the list. The list is soooooo long-here's the recap of disagreement.

1) Best Director Directing Locally:

Although Ricky Graham is a major talent, my vote goes to Alan Smithee. Yes, Ricky is perhaps best known as the writer and director of quintessential New Orleans productions such as And the Ball and All and The Black and White Blues, but Alan has repeatedly outworked and outclassed him. With his stellar films which include "Zombie Team Members" and "Passive Agressive World," Smithee's the pick here.

2) Best Gentlemen's/Strip Club

Rick's is first class but I've got to go with Alan Smithee's Cabaret. Well known for its lap dances. But be sure and call before you go. The Cabaret is not always open. < see local law enforcement agencies for further details >

3) Best Place to Karaoke

Yes, we like The Cat's Meow on Bourban Street, but Cat's Potpurri on Hellwhole Blvd. is the best place to karaoke.

4) Best Vietnamese Restaurant

Gotta disagree with Won Hung Lo on Tulane Ave. Gotta go with Vietnamcatfish's Golden Pond. Serving its world-renowned basa. And try the terrormisu cake for dessert. Only $.79 on Wednesday's. Thursday nite is kids nite, affectionately known as rowdy kids nite. Only $.99. Heliyum balloons free with any purchase.

5) Best Mexican Restaurant

Forget Taqueria Corona. Try any of the numerous Taco Bell's, located strategically throughout the city.

6) Best Lunch Special

Any Piccadilly Cafeteria location, where they're driving the 5, beats the competition hands down.

7) Best Actress Working Locally

Yes, Becky Allen is a New Orleans icon and an ebullient diva. She has been a beloved local favorite for years, but she doesn't rest on her laurels. Allen continues to be one of the hardest-working local actresses, and her recent turn in Dirty Blonde showed her dramatic chops, with turns both as Mae West and a fan of Mae West. So true but my pick is:

Heather Godelegate, whose daily performance in "Ride The Wild Smurf," another Smithee Production, has got to be the best actress working locally.

8) Best Ladies' Night

The Dock has a great ladies night but clifhenry's "Dock of the Bay" is still the place for me and my friends.

9) Best Place to Get a Bloody Mary

H-a-double r-i-g-a-n spells Harrigan < aka Pat O'Brien's > but O'Malley's is the in place these days. With interesting characters unlike any other.

10) Best Message Bored

We finally agree unanimously. PIC Yahoo has the best bored on the internet.

Farewell and adieu, v.c.

P.S. You may now.... allah bored!

Dear Ngudu-Written 6-21-03 An Anniversary Special

I used to write a column on the PIC Yahoo message board. Began June 21, 2001. So I was blogging before blogging was cool. And it was my second year anniversary. And I came up with "Dear Ngudu." The faithful bored honoured my post with 12 recommendations. Even tho I stole the idea from "About Schmidt." Anyway, submitted for your approval and perusal:

Dear Ngudu, I am your new foster parent. My name is Charlie Catfish, but my friends call me v.c. I live here on golden pond with kitty, my wife, and my two kids, Charlie Jr. and Katlin.

I currently toil for a medium-sized corporate entity that goes by the name of Piccadilly Cafeteria. I'm sure there are no cafeterias in your native land of Tanzania. Do you have a McDonalds there? Or a Golden Corral?

McDonalds, once called the happy place, is now the sad place because it just reported losses for the first time in its long, but brief history. Once a giant and innovator in the restaurant business, with one on every street corner of the U.S.A., they have fallen victim to burn out by its customers, competition, pricing, slow, inept service, etc. Ray Kroc, the founder, has certainly turned over in his grave a few times lately, much like our beloved founder, THH.

Times are tough in the corporate world;the boon of the 90's is over, Ngudu. And my company, Piccadilly, is struggling as well. We had a major upheaval recently, when our ceo resigned after 20 years with the company. His last words were "embrace change." I'm not sure if you have a computer, or one readily available, but if you can e mail Mr. Archive, aka hootsbuddie, he will direct you to my Yahoo Post entitled "Bedtime Story 2013." And you'll know how I feel about embracing change.

Speaking of the yahoo, Ngudu, tonight I will celebrate my 2nd year anniversary writing for the bored. There will be no fanfare and some people could care less. I won't get into my lack of remuneration;it's a long, tired story. And you and no one else is interested in Charlie the Basa. Ngudu, you may not be familiar with the term basa. How far is Tanzania from Vietnam?

I have enjoyed the bored. It's a way to vent after a long, grueling day. It's also a creative outlet. And many others use it the same way. We just had an interesting post from Chef Etouffee, who recently reentered the fray, after a long absence, but his posts are too infrequent, much like Red, the venerable seniorpicmgr. We are all hoping that the chef will become more engaged and share some more stories from back in the day. The word engaged is a fairly new buzz word in the corporate lingo. Do they use the term in your country? I always thought it meant you were getting married. But times and words change. Much like music. We all survived the disco era, the punk rockers, the big-haired bands < although their coiffs were well groomed >, grunge, and I'm not sure what the style is now. Alternative, maybe? Bob Marley is big these days. Maybe you've heard of him? He shot the sheriff but he didn't shoot the deputy.

To get in the mood to write this letter, Ngudu, I am being inspired by that old classic from Gun 'N Roses aptly entitled "Welcome To The Jungle." VH-1 is weathering a storm created by its top 100 songs of the last 25 years. Jungle didn't make it, but "Sweet Child of Mine" came in at number 3. No Billy Joel or Elton John. Unbelievable. #1 was, of course, "Smells Like Green Bean, er, Teen Spirit."

Well, Ngudu, it's late and tomorrow is Sunday and I have to work. Write soon or e mail Hoots for any archive needs. Farewell and adieu, v.c., your new foster dad.

P.S. Since you are 6 years old, maybe one day you can attend a Rowdy Kids Nite at H.W.

P.S.S. If you have an interesting synchronicity vibe you'd like to share, would love to hear those, too. May the force be with you. imho

Addendum: I misspelled synchronicity in this post but changed it today.

Bedtime Story 2013-Written 5-28-03

Submitted for your approval and perusal:

Ten years from now I'm sure I'll have some grandkids. And as we all know, you have to read/tell them a bed time story. Since ten years can go quickly, it's time to get into practice. So here goes. Bed time story 2013, sometime in the not too distant future....

"Granddad, tell us a story, please?"

"Sure, kids. Huddle around."

"Tell us about Piccadilly, again, granddad. Can it include ronnie? Those are our favorite stories."

"Sure, kids. Well, we had just bought Morrison's and we had a mission. One team, one mission. And we had an astronaut at our big gala event. He told us about Apollo 13. And how three men and a team of engineers overcame big obstacles in space, and averted a catastrophe by working together. One team, one mission. Get it."

"We get it, granddad."

"The big meeting was all glitz and glamour. And we heard testimonials from some of the managers. And PIC had gone big time. We were the largest cafeteria chain in the universe. And we were gonna kick some serious butt.

But, soon, it turned sour. Like javelin, I went to a conversion. And when we left, like javelin, they went back to doing things the Morrison's way. And we spent a lot of money. And we changed the name to Piccadilly. And the customers balked, cos they liked getting hoki on a child's plate, and turkey and dressing, and a quarter of a chicken. And jello. And bread. And a drink. And we couldn't understand why the customers < that's what we called them, back then > didn't like our child's plate. Half a piece of cod and two veggies. But they did."

"Granddad, what about ronnie? What happened next? Did he have a plan?"

"Well, kids. Ronnie fired all the district engineers. And then he fired guys who had helped build Piccadilly. Men with many years of service. And he fired our general manager and replaced him with azam."

"What's an azam, granddad?"

"Well, azam became the new coo. It was well chronicled how he had rescued Chi Chi's, a well known mexican restaurant, from the grim reaper. He cut and snipped at Chi Chi's and was hailed as the new messiah of restaurant revitilization. And ronnie hired him. And he sent out an inspirational tape that he made with ronnie, and they talked about the team, the piccadilly team. And his plan worked for awhile. The stock went from $1.00 and topped out at a little over $3.00.

And we had a big meeting. And the marketing boys were giddy about their suckcess, and they were referring to azam using Superman cliches. 'Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, he's changing clothes in a phone booth, here's our own Clark Kent, azam.'

And he was going to teach us how to celebrate. And increase communication. And how he, er, we were turning things around. And he kept all the pit bull guys, but things turned sour again."

"What happened, grandpa? Did PIC raise the price on a dilly? On drinks? What happened?"

"The marketing boys came up with smokeyard bbq. And we had to have it on our counters for 3 months."

"What's a smokeyard bbq, granddad?"

"BBQ chicken, sliced pork, and corn fritters. And it helped drive the guests away. Then they followed that up with italian cuisine. Chicken thighs, skirt steak, terrormisu cakes, and rice pilaf in a box."

"Granddad, do you miss Piccadilly?"

"Well, I miss the nice people I used to work with. And the guests who weren't rowdy. And the people from the message bored. Clif, bbq, hoots, bongo, a2fay, ditchus, javelin, leftbehindbabs, the card, johnnyc, poopshooter, didacticdaddy, rawchopbeef, pictruandtru, hope I'm not leaving anybody off."

"Granddad, wasn't bbq4u2 the man who wrote the investigative piece that won him a pulitzer? And landed him a job with the Washington Post?"

"Yes, his expose on the horrible conditions of that chinese restaurant won him world reknown. And he quickly became a legend in his own mind. I still hear from him but you know how it is when you make the big time.

And what happened to ronnie, granddad? Tell us again, please."

"You kids know that ronnie resigned. And that his last statement on the record was 'embrace change.'"

"And, granddad. Tell us again what you said."

"You kids. I said he could embrace my 12 inch pianist."

"What's a 12 inch pianist, granddad?"

"You'll understand when you get older. Now it's time to go to sleep. Good night you rowdy grandkids."